Disney Cuts Keith Richards From Pirates of the Caribbean 4 After Shocking Admission That He’s Done Drugs
Following some heartwarming publicity courtesy of Johnny Depp, Disney proved today that they are taking extra care to keep the fourth, probably unnecessary, sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean warm, fuzzy, and family friendly. The company is now considering cutting Keith “I-can’t-believe-he’s-still-alive” Richards from the film because his new memoir Life advocates drug use. Wait a second here, back up…Keith Richards did drugs?
Disney, we are talking about the same Keith Richards right? The one who joked about snorting his dad’s ashes in an interview? The one who was a subject in that documentary C*cksucker Blues? The guy who wrote the song “Little T&A”? That guy isn’t emblematic of Disney’s values? Because I’m pretty sure all of America thought he was when you already allowed him to be cast in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.
Bombshell time. Not only does Keith Richards admit to doing drugs in his new memoir, but he actually advocates doing them in moderation. According to the offending passage:
“It’s not only the high quality of drugs I had that I attribute my survival to. I was very meticulous about how much I took.”
“I’d never put more in to get a little higher. That’s where most people f*ck up on drugs.”
Wow. I would have never guessed. Well, unless I listened to a Rolling Stones record, or read this 2007 interview:
The best time I’ve ever had on drugs was…”I can’t remember. It’s those nights you forget, but you know what happened because there are 15 other people telling you that you were hanging naked upside down from the chandelier. The other best bit is the morning after, when you wake up and realise you’ve had a great time. I mean drugs have got really nothing to do with life. Drugs are there if you want them, and it’s not a big fucking deal.”
Anyway, we’ll see if this actually pans out - it seems pretty embarrassing for Disney to act surprised that Richards did drugs. Maybe to compensate, they will make good on the rumor of casting Mick Jagger. That guy’s still squeaky clean, as far as I know.